Thoughts

So I am sitting here in the little internet cafe I have been using during these last four weeks in Antigua. The sun is just going down over the volcanoes outside, and I can feel the air starting to get cool as it comes in the door and makes goosebumps on my dry, dusty legs. Every once in a while some fireworks will go off (fireworks/firecrackers are constant here), setting off some car alarms along the street and instigating a chorus of barking stray dogs. A group a spanish speaking teenage girls is clustered around the computer behind me, shrieking and giggling at something on their screen. There is some punchy, bass heavy beat in the background, some indistinguishable song with words that I don´t quite understand that sounds to me just like all the others that are so popular here.

It´s a typical evening in Antigua, one of dozens that I´ve spent in this magical place. Except it´s different, because tonight is my last Saturday here. In a few short days I´ll be boarding a plane to go back home.

This past week there were two girls from Philadelphia living in my homestay. They were really nice, very sweet girls, but I was kind of shocked at some of the things they said/did. They woke up one morning in terror at the scratching sound they had heard on the roof in the night. I laughed and shrugged, telling them that this happens every night and it was probably just a bird or a lizard or something. The next morning they complained over breakfast about the cat that had been screaming for what seemed like hours in the night. I agreed that it was kind of startling the first time you heard that, but that it was just one of the stray cats that had gone into heat.

The girls woke up early every morning to shower, straighten their hair and apply make up. I realized when I saw them doing this that I haven´t worn make up in weeks, maybe months! My hair straightener hasn´t left its case since my first week or two in Guatemala, and my hair spends most of its time scraggaly and sun dryed hanging around my face, until it gets in my way and spend the rest of the time in a bun on top of my head.

The girls picked at their food, removing the seeds from their watermelon and picking peas out of their rice. They eyed their plate of black beans suspiciously and were horrified when they found a fly in the jam jar, while I happily gobbled down everything and wiped my plate clean with a tortilla.

They were bothered by the fact that our house doesn´t have wifi and they couldnt use their laptops or iphones. They were hesistant to use the internet cafe because they were worried their spanish wouldnt be good enough to negotiate what they wanted.

It was the sharp contrast between all of their behaviors and my own that made me stop and reflect a bit. Because in watching them, I remembered that I had been the exact same way only a few short months ago. I remember meticulously applying mascara every morning before I went to volunteer. I would jump two feet in the air everytime a firecracker went off nearby. The first time I heard a cat in heat I woke up in a panic thinking it was being eaten by a wild dog! One of my first days here I bit down on something hard and crunchy in my soft meal and couldn´t eat the rest of it. I too picked the seeds of of my watermelon, and had zero interest in tortillas.

These days, I find myself unphased by the strange noises all around me. I eat everything I´m given at the homestay, knowing that we eat three times a day and if I want food in between I have to go buy it and it´s going to cost me extra money. Finding hair or something that shouldn´t be there in my food really doesn´t bother me anymore. Just pull it out and keep eating! The loud termites in my wall that once caused me to stay awake all night have now just become a slight annoyance. I´ve learned to work my way through the busy streets, how to deal with the agressive street vendors, how to ignore the flirtatious men without coming across as completely rude, and knowing the exact moment to cross the road amist chicken busses and motorcycles and a lack of any form of speed limit.

I´m not trying to act like some guatemala pro or anything, I know it´s only been four months that I´ve been living here. It´s just that seeing these girls, I realized how different I am than when I got here. How much I´ve changed. It´s happens slowly, so that you don´t quite notice it until one day it is shoved in your face all the ways in which you´ve adapted and become someone a bit different than who you used to be.

I used to think that I was coming here to help these people. That clearly they live in severe poverty and need my help. I thought I was doing a good thing, coming here to help these people who needed me. But over the weeks, months, I´ve realized that I needed them just as much. Yes, there are some really awful problems here, but there are awful problems in the developed world too. They´re just a different sort of problems. The people here have taught me so much. How to be happy in the midst of awful things. How to choose joy when it would be so easy to just give up and sulk and cry and scream about the hand life has dealt them. They have taught me how to give. How even those who have nothing can always find something to give. They´ve shown my the importance of family and friends, how looking out for the people around you is the most important thing you can do in this life. Having each other´s backs is second nature to these people. They stick together and find their strength in the knowledge that they have people around them who will have their back no matter what happens.

These people do not need help any more than we do. They can help us just as much as we can help them. I have shared with them everything I can in order to make their lives easier. In turn they have shared with me more than I ever thought I would learn on this trip. I thought I was coming here soley to give, to help the needy. But they have helped me too. They have had just as much to give as I have, just gifts of a different sort. I have given them food and school supplies and labor and support, and they have given me back knowledge and happiness and love so much more.

Bye bye Guatemala, thanks for everything!

More Pics

Hi everyone!

Here are some pictures from the past while ... enjoy!

Ps, most of them were taken on a disposable camera so the quality is a little sketchy, sorry!

xoxo Kate

Back In Guate!

Hi everybody!

So plans have changed quite a bit since my last post. I didn´t end up going back to Belize because it turned out that the orphanage isnt taking new volunteers at the moment. As dissapointed as I was, I was also excited at the opportunity to do something else. So after a bit of asking around and some VERY long bus rides, (the 8 hour bus from Toronto to New York ain´t got nothin on me anymore), I have wound up back in Guatemala. I am working at a place called ANA, about 10 minutes outside of Antigua in a town called San Felipe. It is a center which runs many different projects such as a trade school, a hospital for malnourished children, a homeless shelter, and more, but I am mainly working at the offices in the Primary school. All of the services are free for the very poor population in San Felipe.  I do get to go over to the hospital some days and care for the sick children or deliver free groceries to the moms who come in, but my main job is in the school office. The Associacion is extremely understaffed, so the managerial side of things is very disorganized and all over the place, which makes it difficult to get the real jobs done like feeding and educating the kids, helping with medical care, building homes for homeless families, etc.

I have been working from 8am to 5 pm since Monday, doing all sorts of odd jobs. It´s a lot of work and it´s a lot more tiring than just playing with and feeding kids, like when I was at the orphanage. But I can tell that they really do need me at the center. I feel very useful translating documents, going to local businesses and asking for donations, handing out groceries to the moms, helping the children with school, and assisting the directors of the center in any way I can.

I only have 3.5 more weeks at the center, and then I come home!

I can´t beleive it, it´s gone by so fast! I am so going to miss Guatemala and Central America. I will miss the kids and the amazing families and the culture, but at the same time I am looking forward to coming home and taking a HOT shower and having my own room and being able to eat my favorite foods and seeing all my friends and family.

I will see you all soon! And dont worry, I plan on posting at least once more before I return.

xoxo
Kate

Changes

Hi Everyone!

Sorry its been so long since I made a post - I have been doing a bit of travelling and when I do get internet it´s usually only for about 3 seconds. I am currently in Nicaragua with 3 friends that I met volunteering in Guatemala. After my 8 weeks at Mi Escualita and the Orphanage, I decided to take a month of from volunteering and explore central america a bit! So far we have been to Belize, Honduras, El Salvador, and now Nicaragua. It´s been an absolute blast, meeting so many interesting people and getting to experience so many amazing things. Yesterday I tobagganed down a Volcano at 50 mph, and a few weeks ago I got my PADI Certification for Scuba Diving in Honduras.

I think next week will be my final week of travelling, and from here I will head back to Guatemala to collect my things and drop off some stuff for the kids, and from there I am planning on heading to Belmopan, Belize, where I hope to be able to volunteer at an Orphanage called the Kings Childrens home. I absolutely fell in love with Belize while I was there, and Im so greatful that I had the oppourtunity to do a bit of travel so I could find out what wonderful countries Belize, Honduras, and Nicargua are.

Anyway, while I was in Belize I remembered my mom telling me about friends who ran a home for children in Belmopan. And as much as I loved the places I worked at in Guatemala, I think it would be a great experience to try living in Belize and working at the childrens home for the rest of my time here. SO thats what I am planning to do, just have to sort out the details and finish exploring Nicaragua and then I will be on my way there!

On a sad note - if you look back a few posts you will see a post I made about the babies at the Orphanage in Guatemala. There is a paragraph about a little guy named Angel and what a perfect little sweetheart he was. Well a few weeks after that post, I went in to the orphanage on a Monday to see that his crib had been removed from the nursery. Angel had passed away that morning from an infection. Apparently he had fallen ill with a chest infection as well as some gastrointestinal issues that friday, and they had brought him to the hospital on Sunday. In talking to the nuns and the nurse who worked with the babies, I have gathered that his death was due to a few factors. Firstly, his weakened immune system made it extra hard for him to fight off the infections. Secondly, the hospitals in the area are really not good at all and there wasnt a whole lot that they could do. A baby in a first world country with a chest infection and gastro would have been treated properly by a doctor and the chance of death would have been quite slim, but in a country where the best medications arent available and the doctors arent able to do all the necessary tests, his death was awful and heartbreaking, but very common occurence, especially for a child with HIV.

Anyways, I have to go now as I am at an internet cafe and my minutes are about to run out, but hopefully my next post will be from the Kings Childrens Home in Belmopan, Belize!

lots of love!
Kate